Men’s Interests

The note below was written recently by a new mother to an online single parent peer support group, and will come as quite a surprise to many fathers denied custody by vengeful ex-partners and the family courts. Luckily this new mom found Single-Parents- on Yahoo Groups, whose members are described as:

…male, female, young, old, separated, divorced, widowed, never married, custodial, non-custodial, joint-custodial, straight, gay, bisexual, many religions, non-religious, biological , grand, foster, ex-step, and adoptive parents.

Her note:

…I want to thank all of you for your input on my last post about shared custody, based on my own thoughts and what you have all shared with me I have decided to agree to the shared custody wishes of my son’s dad. Though there are obviously going to be some stipulations I really do believe that the shared custody will not only be good for my son but also our relationship.

With 71% of Single-Parents-’s 3639 members being heterosexual single mothers, one might expect a new mom to be advised to fight for complete control when discussing child custody, something often suggested by attorneys and promoted on radical feminist and quasi domestic violence forums. Discussions like that occured before the group was assigned to Teri Stoddard, blogger on the worldwide family law reform movement and egalitarian.

Now new members to Single-Parents- are often pleasantly surpised by the interactions on the forum, writing

“I’ve read so many helpful posts already. It’s nice to know I’m not the only one dealing with these things,”

“It’s great to read posts by single dads. You guys have renewed my faith in men,” and

“I got angry. But now I get it. I’m trying to see it from his perspective and I see that helping.”

Makes ya wanna smile, doesn’t it?

Suddenly find yourself with a newborn and have no experience in the matter? Here are some practical suggestions from a mother-of-four, grandmother and child care professional:

1. FOOD:

Find a formula that is readily available, inexpensive and preferably powdered in large cans. All you need is water and bottles and you’re good-to-go. If the baby has any digestive problems try different brands or soy formula. You don’t have to worry about solid food for six months.

2. DIAPERING:

Find disposable diapers and babywipes that are inexpensive. Get the thick type. The wipes in the round plastic container are too thin. If no other brand is on sale for a better price, get the store brand.

If the baby shows any signs of irritation try different brands, all natural wipes or soft paper towels and water. Thick white diaper cream is the best.

TRAVEL:

Get some sort of bag to keep the baby stuff in, that you can take with you and leave with other people when they are caring for the baby. It can be cool, like a gym bag or a piece of luggage; it doesn’t have to be a “diaper bag.”

Include a can of powdered formula, 2 bottles, several bottles of water, (you’ll need extra to rinse the bottles), diapers, wipes, plastic grocery bags, and 4 or more outfits. Use the plastic grocery bags for storing dirty clothing and disposing used diapers when you’re out. Include a notebook with all of your contact information, medical cards and medical release forms for sitters.

You must use an approved infant carseat. You can usually get one free if you can’t afford it. Secure it in the backseat, facing backwards. The type with detachable bottoms that stay in the car are wonderful.

CLOTHING:

Forget fashion. Keep it simple. Head-to-toe onsies and footed sleepers are all you need. If it’s cold, add more layers. If it’s warm, less layers. You don’t have to deal with complicated clothing until the baby starts to stand.

BABYWHISPERING:

If the baby is crying after a feeding, diaper change and burping, hold and comfort him. Put him over your heart, breath slowly and send him relaxation. Walk or rock in a rocking chair. Use the shushing sound; it comforts babies. Tell him he’ll feel better, that you’re going to help him. If you believe it, he can believe it.

When a baby is very young, you do whatever it takes to comfort them. You can’t just lay them down and tell them to go to sleep. Many new parents find themselves waking up in a rocking chair with their baby asleep on their chest.

If nothing works, if the crying is shrill like the baby is feeling sharp pain, call the doctor.

Let’s see…what have I left out? What would you suggest?

baby babycare daddy dad father newborn fatherhood babyformula diapers diapering babyclothes babywipes babybottles rockingchair diaperbag carseat

Welcome Jared at All About Fatherhood and read a heart-warning story about Air Force Chief Master Sgt. John Gebhardt.

Visit Sharon at Mental-Emotional Health to see if you or someone you know is too emotional.

And find out about the mysterious death on All My Children from Dexie at ABC Soaps Watch.

Oh, I forgot, you don’t watch soaps.

I enjoy Beliefnet.com because it respects all religions, as I do. I came across a section called Preachers & Teachers, “nuggets of wisdom, inspiration, and advice,” and it sure is.

from DivorceWizards:

Free shared parenting plans are available on SharedParentingWorks.org.

divorce prayer marriage faith husband wife religion collaborativedivorce sharedparenting jointcustody

Try making these ornaments with your kids. What fun! You can get the necessary supplies at your local craft store, or most large stores like Walmart and Kmart.

video baby laugh daddy dad father

This is not the way to get a crying baby to chill-out:

Hardy, 21, who admitted to police that he had no real parenting skills to deal with a sick child, said he had noticed the girl was very hot and put a cool cloth on her face, but this had no effect.

He then carried the girl outside into the night air but, frustrated that this also did not work and worried she might drown if placed in a cold bath, he put the baby into the kitchen freezer. She was wearing only an undershirt.

A local doctor said the mother had described her baby as “crying, sobbing and terrified.” The child spent several days in hospital to recover from first- and second-degree freezer burns on her head and torso.

more from Yahoo News…

John Murtari maintains his faith, 109 days after giving up solid food to highlight the need for family law reform. This week that faith paid-off. Yesterday Murtari was interviewed by film producer Angelo Lobo for the documentary “Support? System Down,” as well as a local television crew and newspaper reporter. Today his story appeared in the Associated Press.

See trailers for “Support? System Down”
Visit Murtari’s Website AKidsRight.org
Learn more about Murtari and the Family Law Reform Movement
Read the Press Release

More media coverage…
Fasting inmate to be subject of film on reforming family court
A fasting jail inmate to be film’s subject
Fasting inmate to be subject of film on reforming family court

Has the family law system hurt your family? Have you faced injustice or corruption? Leave a comment below.

protest reform civil Custody family father child fathers men murtari parents rights support

Photo from Courier-Journal

This Courier-Journal article describes Kentucky parents telling the Blue Ribbon Panel on Adoption that the state takes their children unnecessarily and doesn’t return them in a timely manner. They also say foster homes are chosen over relatives’ homes, causing extra distress to children.

These complaints mirror comments made by parents nationwide. Groups have sprung up across America and around the world to fight CPS’s irresponsible actions. A study done in California showed that half the children removed from their parents and put in foster care should have been allowed to stay with their parents.