Men’s Interests

From the Daily Telegram:

Supporters of a state bill aimed to make parental custody rights more equitable saw the measure fall one vote short of advancing from its House committee Tuesday, deadlocked 4-4 with Rep. Dudley Spade, D-Tipton, not voting.

Rep. Leslie Mortimer, R-Horton, sponsored the Equal Parenting bill, HB 5267. The bill in most divorce cases would have created a presumption of equal or near-equal custody unless parents reached their own custody agreement…

…In hearings Wednesday, 47 people spoke or otherwise expressed support for the bill, while 16 offered opposition…

…“The big frustration is Rep. (John) Stahl (R-North Branch), the chairman, for whatever reason, let this thing sit in committee since October of 2005 and bought it up for a committee hearing last week,�? [Rep. Dudley] Spade said.

Bill supporter Brett Frye of Adrian, a spokesman and board member for the Family Rights Coalition of Michigan, said he was encouraged by the committee hearings and expects similar legislation will be introduced next session.

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From author Tom Hinton:

1. We want you to know how much we love you. Yes, I know it sounds mushy, but it’s true. I’m not sure why, but it’s hard for fathers to tell their kids how much we really love them especially when their bedroom looks like a disaster area. I know you must think we hate you because we are the ones who oftentimes make the rules about when you need to be home for dinner, or telling you to get off the cell phone and do your homework. But the truth is we really do love you. Despite the fact that we badger you to get good grades, lots of sleep, and eat at least one healthy meal a day, we still love you. Having said that, don’t think we’re going to get soft on you. We’re still your fathers.

2. We want you to know that life is very fragile. On the outside, fathers are tough and strong. But, every morning when we read the newspaper about some young person who was killed in a senseless traffic accident or some kid who got mixed-up with the wrong crowd and was arrested in a drug sweep at the nearby high school, we tremble inside. We know from experience that life is very fragile and we don’t want to lose you. So, that’s why you’re not getting that red sports car for Christmas. And, that’s why we don’t want you carpooling with Fast Eddy. And, that’s why we set curfews and dating policies that bring you to tears. But, we do it because we were once teen-agers and we know how fragile life is. We know that kids rarely get a second chance to recover from a bad decision about alcohol, drugs, or speeding cars. The truth is we’re scared of losing you so that’s why we’re over-protective. Prove to us that you’re responsible and we’ll let you stay out to midnight. And, don’t even think of asking us to stretch that to 1:00 am.

3. We want you to succeed in life. I know you’re not thinking about this yet because just about everything you need in life we give you. But, know that we fathers are always thinking about your future and scheming in our heads on how to give you an edge. And, while we’re scheming and hoping you will amount to something someday, we understand that you just want to be left alone, locked in your bedroom so you can text message your one hundred best friends to find out who’s going where on Christmas break, and if there are any parties planned for New Years, or who wants to see a movie at the mall. We get it.

But, remember what fathers are always thinking about. We know there’s another side of life once you complete high school. We know that it’s a hard world and life gets damn tough. Frankly, it’s a pressure-cooker. Society continues to raise the performance bar and the competition is fierce. You’ve lived in this neighborhood all your life. But, out there, beyond the security of this community, there is a tough world that is just waiting to chew you up and spit you out. We know. We’ve seen it and some of it is not very pretty. We know that fewer kids are realizing their dreams. It’s getting tougher to get into a good college and earn your degree, or be accepted into a trade school where you can practice your craft. It’s getting more difficult to land a great job and earn good money that will put you on the path to success. And, while money and a good job aren’t the most important things in life, we fathers know that they are close to the top of the list if one day you want to enjoy Consumer Christmas in the style you’ve grown accustomed to.

Tom Hinton is the author of ‘Leadership Lessons I Learned on the Links.’

Leadership Lessons I Learned on the Links: Book One

The note below was written recently by a new mother to an online single parent peer support group, and will come as quite a surprise to many fathers denied custody by vengeful ex-partners and the family courts. Luckily this new mom found Single-Parents- on Yahoo Groups, whose members are described as:

…male, female, young, old, separated, divorced, widowed, never married, custodial, non-custodial, joint-custodial, straight, gay, bisexual, many religions, non-religious, biological , grand, foster, ex-step, and adoptive parents.

Her note:

…I want to thank all of you for your input on my last post about shared custody, based on my own thoughts and what you have all shared with me I have decided to agree to the shared custody wishes of my son’s dad. Though there are obviously going to be some stipulations I really do believe that the shared custody will not only be good for my son but also our relationship.

With 71% of Single-Parents-’s 3639 members being heterosexual single mothers, one might expect a new mom to be advised to fight for complete control when discussing child custody, something often suggested by attorneys and promoted on radical feminist and quasi domestic violence forums. Discussions like that occured before the group was assigned to Teri Stoddard, blogger on the worldwide family law reform movement and egalitarian.

Now new members to Single-Parents- are often pleasantly surpised by the interactions on the forum, writing

“I’ve read so many helpful posts already. It’s nice to know I’m not the only one dealing with these things,”

“It’s great to read posts by single dads. You guys have renewed my faith in men,” and

“I got angry. But now I get it. I’m trying to see it from his perspective and I see that helping.”

Makes ya wanna smile, doesn’t it?

Was Mr. McCormick discriminated against? Would this, could this happen to a mother?

Toddler in state custody after father dies in homeless shelter

Associated Press

PADUCAH, Ky. - A 14-month-old boy was hospitalized after going unattended in his crib for as much as a day after his father died at a western Kentucky homeless shelter, officials said.

The boy was dehydrated, but otherwise OK after being taken to an emergency room in Paducah on Thursday, McCracken County Coroner Dan Sims said.

The boy’s father, Charles McCormick, was found at the River City Mission on Thursday afternoon. Sims said McCormick appeared to have died from a gastrointestinal hemorrhage within 24 hours of being found. No autopsy will be conducted.

The Kentucky Department for Children and Family Services took custody of the child.

Bryan Partain, director of operations for the shelter, said McCormick moved in about two months ago after he was separated from his wife. McCormick had sole custody of his son, and the mother had no visitation rights, he said.

Information from: The Paducah Sun

Suddenly find yourself with a newborn and have no experience in the matter? Here are some practical suggestions from a mother-of-four, grandmother and child care professional:

1. FOOD:

Find a formula that is readily available, inexpensive and preferably powdered in large cans. All you need is water and bottles and you’re good-to-go. If the baby has any digestive problems try different brands or soy formula. You don’t have to worry about solid food for six months.

2. DIAPERING:

Find disposable diapers and babywipes that are inexpensive. Get the thick type. The wipes in the round plastic container are too thin. If no other brand is on sale for a better price, get the store brand.

If the baby shows any signs of irritation try different brands, all natural wipes or soft paper towels and water. Thick white diaper cream is the best.

TRAVEL:

Get some sort of bag to keep the baby stuff in, that you can take with you and leave with other people when they are caring for the baby. It can be cool, like a gym bag or a piece of luggage; it doesn’t have to be a “diaper bag.”

Include a can of powdered formula, 2 bottles, several bottles of water, (you’ll need extra to rinse the bottles), diapers, wipes, plastic grocery bags, and 4 or more outfits. Use the plastic grocery bags for storing dirty clothing and disposing used diapers when you’re out. Include a notebook with all of your contact information, medical cards and medical release forms for sitters.

You must use an approved infant carseat. You can usually get one free if you can’t afford it. Secure it in the backseat, facing backwards. The type with detachable bottoms that stay in the car are wonderful.

CLOTHING:

Forget fashion. Keep it simple. Head-to-toe onsies and footed sleepers are all you need. If it’s cold, add more layers. If it’s warm, less layers. You don’t have to deal with complicated clothing until the baby starts to stand.

BABYWHISPERING:

If the baby is crying after a feeding, diaper change and burping, hold and comfort him. Put him over your heart, breath slowly and send him relaxation. Walk or rock in a rocking chair. Use the shushing sound; it comforts babies. Tell him he’ll feel better, that you’re going to help him. If you believe it, he can believe it.

When a baby is very young, you do whatever it takes to comfort them. You can’t just lay them down and tell them to go to sleep. Many new parents find themselves waking up in a rocking chair with their baby asleep on their chest.

If nothing works, if the crying is shrill like the baby is feeling sharp pain, call the doctor.

Let’s see…what have I left out? What would you suggest?

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I enjoy Beliefnet.com because it respects all religions, as I do. I came across a section called Preachers & Teachers, “nuggets of wisdom, inspiration, and advice,” and it sure is.

from DivorceWizards:

Free shared parenting plans are available on SharedParentingWorks.org.

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Try making these ornaments with your kids. What fun! You can get the necessary supplies at your local craft store, or most large stores like Walmart and Kmart.

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From the BBC:

Paul Bogues, 47, from Fitzroy Avenue in Belfast, was leaning on Ardglass Harbour wall talking to some men when the wave washed over the pier.

Mr Bogues fell and hit his head. He was later pronounced dead in hospital.

In January, his 26-year-old son Conor died when his trawler sank near the same harbour. His body was never found…

[Alex Slater of the Fishermen's Mission said] “He liked to go down to Ardglass following Conor’s disappearance, just to be there.”

He must have missed his son terribly. Hopefully they’re together now.

Is there a lesson we can learn from this?

“It is important that we urge people not to go at this time of year near harbours, rocks or beaches because the weather conditions are so, so dangerous.”

Photos and text from the news-press:

Authorities are looking for a Hispanic woman last seen in a black, two-door black or dark blue SUV with peeling tinted windows…The suspect is a woman described as 28 to 30 years old with black, straight hair partially in a bun. She is 5 feet 4 inches tall and was wearing a black T-shirt at the time of the abduction.

Anyone with information is asked to call the Fort Myers Police Department at (239) 334-4155.

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